"PolyCon University"

February 7, 1998

University Union, San Luis Lounge


So, like, totally welcome to the orientation tour of PolyCon University! I'm your tour guide, Misty, and I'm here to answer all of your questions and to show you how totally fab life is like around here.

PolyCon University, or "PolyCon U" as the locals like to call it, is, like, at the junction of several different realities. It's called a Universal Nexus, but that's such a boring name. What that means is that we get students and faculty from all over the map here. Your professor for high-energy physics might be a five-foot tall talking mollusc. You might wind up with a were-wolf for a dorm-mate. And watch out for the sentient appliances.

Um, duck. Thank you. Everyone alright? Groovy.

So, like, where were we? Oh, yeah, the orientation thingy. Well, let's wander down to the lecture halls and meet some of the faculty. I'll let you know which profs are cool, and which are total goobers. Then we'll walk through one of the Residence Halls so you can see where you'll be living for your first year. Finally, we'll grab lunch at the cafeteria. Watch out for the 'mystery meat.' It's out of this world, and I don't mean in a good way...

Late Breaking News from PolyCon University

Founder's Head Stolen

Students and faculty expressed surprise, shock and anger after a landmark statue was found vandalized this morning at PolyCon University. The head of the statue is still missing at this time. PolyCon U's President Kenneth G. Bankrolls was outraged when told the news. Bankrolls commented, "I'll have the perpetrator's head on a platter for this!"

President Bankrolls is also worried how this disaster will affect his wife's upcoming soiree. "Disfiguration of the campus' statuary is sure to have an adverse affect on how society views our campus," said Lucinda Bankrolls, wife of the college's president. The statue, a symbol of PolyCon University throughout the multiverse, portrays Orrum, the 8-armed patron Saint of Bureaucracy and founder of the university.

President Bankrolls indicated that Campus Security is compiling a list of suspects and will round them up for questioning. Bankrolls plans to issue the following ultimatum when the roundup is complete: "Turn in the culprit or you will all be expelled from PolyCon U."

The PolyCon Committee is pleased to announce their next Live Action Role Playing event. Our Mid-Year LARP will take place on February 7, 1998. Join us on the campus of PolyCon University for this day-long event.

For more information, feel free to mail us at either

polycon-info@polycon.punk.net
or

PolyCon Committee
University Union Box 168
San Luis Obispo, CA 93407